Trigger warning for discussions of sexism, transmisogyny, rape, and abuse.
I just wanted to remind you, because almost every trans man I interact with is incredibly sexist. I recognize that whether or not we (sometimes we, since I’m non-binary) gain access to male privilege can be complicated what with sometimes being perceived as women and all. I recognize that some of us internalize the messages sent to men and some of us don’t. Lastly, I recognize that some of us don’t want or need to medically transition.
I want to be clear that these things don’t mean we can reclaim terms used against cis and/or trans women. These things don’t mean we deserve access to women’s spaces. When it comes to reproductive needs, things get a little more blurry. In the blur of these lines, however, trans women are most certainly left out. Let’s work to change that. In a support group, exclusively for women, however, we are not welcome and rightfully so for every space outside of women’s spaces is a man’s space. We have plenty of room whereas women are forced to find and create safe spaces. We hardly allow them room to breathe elsewhere.
Being trans does not mean we are incapable of being abusive. Being trans does not mean we know what it is like to exist in a male supremacist society as a woman. Some of us do; some of us don’t. My point is that it’s not inherent. When in relationships with women, it is on us too to make sure consent is present at all times. We too are capable of rape.
Trans men, we do not understand the experiences of trans women or of folks who also are gendered male at birth. Acting as though we do is taking part in transmisogyny and, therefore, also taking part in sexism. We don’t experience the same struggles as trans* folks who are gendered male at birth, and when we list off the plethora of trans women’s names during Trans* Day of Remembrance, let us take notice the monumental difference between how much space their struggles take on that list in comparison to ours for theirs is far greater.
Let us remember to move back and allow women to communicate their ideas for they are encouraged by us and by male supremacy to not do so. Let us remember that when taking part in trans* advocacy to include and encourage the inclusion the trans* folks who are gendered male at birth always. Let us not take part in urinary segregation nor in segregation of coercively given genders for these constructs limit the liberation of all people, not just trans* folks.
This could go on forever, but lastly, and potentially most importantly, let us recognize that we can always grow as allies to women and to CGMAB, non-binary, trans* folks. Let us recognize that we do not deserve cookies for not being rapists, for otherwise practicing good consent, for recognizing the existence of sexism and/or transmisogyny, or for not reclaiming words used against women (or for writing posts such as these). Remember to call out other men when you have the chance. Remember that it is not your place to dictate what is or is not sexist. Recognize your privilege and keep it in check.
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